I Wasn't Ready for This

At dinner (it seems to be always at dinner, our time together) we were having a great time, talking and laughing, then Victoria tells us she can spell sex... *gasp*... yes, remember this post here where she just turned 8? Right, so she went on to spell it and I asked what it meant. She looks at me, like if saying, you don't know? And I asked again, what does that mean? if you're saying it you must know what it means, so she says, all chicky, it's when a boy kisses a girl! *relief*. It wasn't over though... no... not over...

She continues on... I know how a baby is born... and I was thinking, ok, let her think it's the kiss thing, and she starts to laugh, and when I asked how, she says, that a boy's private touches a girl's private!!!!!!!!!! Rachel told her, well... Rachel is also 7 or 8!!!!! Can you imagine how I was freaking out inside??? All I wanted was pizza tonight...

I started laughing, that nervous laugh and she asked if that was true, without thinking I said yes. I didn't really mean to, but I didn't know what to say. It wasn't expected. I didn't have a speech planned. For Santa, I have a speech, for the tooth fairy too, but that? The S.E.X word??? I don't! I didn't!

Now it's too late, it's happened. So, to make it even better at the end, she said: Please don't tell me that this is what happened between you and dad. And I did my um, um, um thing, not knowing what the heck to say, I said it was bath time and that she had to go, like NOW!

And I sit here wondering, will she remember this conversation? Have I traumatized her forever? What the heck do parents say to this question? Why are 8 year olds talking about that? Am I a bad mum? A bad person?

I mean, I consider myself pretty open minded, but... seriously, this was tough.